All's Not Well In Metropolis

When J K Rowling announced that one of the main characters in the Harry Potter books has his genes on backward, it caused quite a commotion in the literary world. However, yesterday's announcement by Superman author Roger Stern has rocked the literary world to its foundations! At a book signing, Mr. Stern told his adoring public that neither Superman nor Clark Kent has an actual penis! Apparently a small piece of Kryptonite got into baby Superman's diaper and well. . . the poor little pecker just withered away to nothing! This dreadful fact was never even alluded to in the fifty odd years of comic books. The people at the book-signing were aghast when Stern told them that in a lot of the pictures where Lois Lane was smiling. . . she was faking! Also, in some of the pictures where Superman looked rather. . . uh. . . super, well, an ordinary rolled-up sock was used! Batman author, Frank Miller, after hearing this shocking news about Superman just laughed and made his own surprising disclosure about his black caped hero. "Batman", said Miller proudly, "not only has an actual penis but it is the size of a bat!" His listeners were very quiet. too quiet! "No, No," He explained quickly. "I don't mean one of those little creatures that hang upside down. . . I mean a BASEBALL BAT!" His audience sighed with relief. "However", Miller continued, "It's still rather sad. Where Superman has Lana Lang and Lois lane, Batman doesn't have any women in his life." As Robin lamented in a 1983 comic book. . . "Holy Torpedo, Batman! Holy torpedo, Batman! Holy tor........................"
Dimmy