CBC's Beauties

I keep wondering about that nose of Pinocchio. Does it actually get longer when he tells a lie or is it only in his own mind? Perhaps it's just the perception of the people that heard his lies and, because they are aware of the strange malady, think they see the nose getting slightly larger. Now, if some people heard Pinocchio tell lies but were not aware of the nose thing, they might say, "Did you hear all those lies? And look! His ears are all shriveled!" Yes, I think it could be something like that. The reason for all this deep thinking is this: The CBC has a lot of fine looking people working the screens of our nation's TVs; Damn good looking people! Yet, with all the warping, bending, and yes, downright lying that they do, I believe the average viewer, might look at, say, Peter and think: Hey! Are his jowls getting Larger? Or watching Andrew twist the facts might say, "Wow! Look at his mouth. It's starting to look like the entrance to a tunnel!" Or when Nancy with the smiling eyes, starts warping the facts, might say to themselves, "Gee! Look at her smiling eyes. Why do they keep going off madly in all directions?" Yes, I believe the once loved CBC has a problem with its nose. But then, it could be only in the eye of the beholder.

Dimmy

Unholy Image

Well, CBC, this is kind of hard to believe but yesterday I was making french toast and there, right in the middle of the second slice was this beautiful image of Stephane Dion! Honest! It even had a bit of scripture attached to it. It said: "I am a good leader. I really am a good leader. I became a citizen of France just in case Canada split up, but I am a good leader. Some people even say I'm a great leader! I've heard my mother say that many times!" Then, alas, it ran out of toast. Oh,oh! I've gotta go. My spouse seems to be getting excited about something. Probably found another beautiful image in the scrambled eggs!

Dimmy

Our Omnipotency

Holy Weaselpoop, CBC, this is real serious. My people are getting very angry. My people think we are getting the wrong end of every stick you people, (All the people that are not my people) can stick us with. Get this straight, CBC, five hundred years ago my people wandered freely over this land. Why, one of my ancestors rode her horse from Victoria to St. Johns without stopping! Yes, okay, it was a very good horse. Every one of my people knows that our Great God-Chief Blusterbum gave us every rock, every blade of grass, every blueberry bush that our horses urinated on during my people's legendary travels. Why, in just one week, one ancestor's horse peed in Kamloops, Port Aux Basque, and all over Toronto! Yes, I have to admit, that too was an excellent horse. Now, CBC, this is well known, sacred scripture and must not be ridiculed by your people. Since the laws of Canada do not pertain to my people, and since the glorious RCMP don't have a clue how to deal with my people, me and my people will be coming to take back Toronto. We want to do it peacefully but our masks and sling shots and tractors are at the ready. Tell Peter and Rex to make sure their desks are spotless!

Dimmy